The Right Experience

Fall 2020:

The practice I was given as we closed our coaching session: 

Pay attention to when I change my decision because I assume someone needs me to.

I close my computer and head for a late lunch. With my favorite deli sandwich in hand, I pull my car up to the newly erected art for the Pro Football Hall of Fame on the downtown green space.

My decision: eat while I take in the art.

Because of the time of day, I’m the only car in the back-in diagonal street parking. 

I take a bite.

A van pulls up and starts trying to back into a diagonal parking space near me.

As I watch in .5 seconds, I assess 1) their struggle, 2) the handicapped sign on the rearview mirror, 3) that I don’t have to be here and 4) shouldn’t stay parked so they can have a spot.

I whip my car into gear and drive back to my office.

When I sit down at my desk 3 minutes later, it hits me:

• I assumed they needed me to move even though there were 20 parking spots and nobody else in sight.

• I moved even though my intention was to eat next to the green space. 

• There was no verbal request, no hand gestures, not even eye contact.  

• I believed they were having the wrong experience and took it on as a lame heroic gesture to move out of the way.

It is a small, inconsequential moment in time that points to a larger automaticity that I was asleep to. Awareness is the first step.

In what ways are you changing your decisions because you assume someone else is having the wrong experience?

To less Ass-U-Me,

💛 Liz